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Monday, November 14, 2011

Creative and Romantic Gift Ideas for the Holidays

No matter how you celebrate the holidays, no matter what your faith, offer something to your loved ones that will truly be remembered:
Create a Scrapbook of precious keepsakes from your time together. Some goodies you can incorporate into your scrapbook include:
Photos of special moments together, Movie ticket stubs, concert tickets, A ribbon from your hair, A cut out of the box top of chocolates he gave to you, For the men, a cut out from a magazine of her favorite perfume that you love, A page of special dates you have shared together, A love letter, A lock of your hair, A list of your all time favorite moments together, Be imaginative and creative and have fun! Include things that will make your loved one laugh and smile and things that melt their heart! 
Yes its common, but stands the test of time. Especially for the lady in your life men. A lot of ladies will say they don’t need flashy jewelry to be happy but I have never seen a woman cry over getting something shiny and sparkly for the holidays! Its in our genes and we can’t honestly deny the desire to slide a new ring on our finger, or the feel of that chain around our neck, just be sure you offer to place it there! Before buying jewelry however, especially for the men, take note of if your loved one tends to wear silver, or gold, and if her style is more bohemian or flashy. You want to be sure you have her style down and if all else fails get something with both silver and gold in it that is basic. Ladies, don’t forget many men also enjoy a little pizazz! 
Gift Baskets
Sure anyone can pick out an item and wrap it in a box with a pretty bow but only you know your loved one well enough to know exactly the kind of items to put in their custom made gift basket! Give baskets can be creative, fun, whimsical, romantic, or just plain zany! If your loved one is a huge comic book fan then make them a comic book gift basket with some rare old books and a few new ones that may inspire adding to their collection. Got a sci fi fan in your life? A few DVD’s of classic Sci Fi movies along with a few new ones and a couple Sci Fi figurines would make their day! Does your lady love gourmet coffee? Give her a variety of coffees along with a custom made coffee mug but don’t forget the biscotti and chocolate covered espresso beans! Really anything your loved one is into can be incorporated into a fabulous gift basket! This lets your loved one know that you took the time to really consider THEM when picking out their gift! 
A Sweater
Yup I know it seems almost TOO simple, TOO basic, but if you live in a cold climate nothing is better than the feel of a quality sweater against one’s skin when its cold outside! Every time there is a rush of cold air they will think of you and thank you for giving them something so cozy and love should make one feel cozy and warm! Of course you want a sweater that is made well and will stand the test of time, just like your love. Try to stay away from busy patterns and outlandish colors unless of course that is what your loved one is into. Neutral tones, and solid patterns usually will be worn more often and match more of their other clothing. If sweaters are not your style consider the same idea with cozy pajamas or a very thick comforting robe! Snuggies are great for your nephew or college aged student, but your loved one deserves something a bit more lavish! 
A DVD of the first movie you saw together or a CD that has the first song you danced to as a couple on it. 
You can of course add more to this idea if you want to make it even more special but you would need to be a little creative. Attach a handwritten letter to your loved one on nice paper telling them all the thoughts and emotions that were going on inside of you on that date, or at that time! Tell them how nervous you were, or how you could not even keep your mind on the movie, or how you thought it cute when he slyly put his arm behind you at the theatre, or how stunning she looked on the dance floor. Whatever comes to mind just say it - as long as it is from the heart! 
A Love Letter
What ever happened to the art of writing? A handwritten letter from you to your loved one is a gift that simply can’t be beat anytime of the year! With cell phones and computers written communication has become a thing of the past but in almost every classic romance it is the love letter that is a cherished item, an item one keeps forever. 
You can write about a specific time spent together, a vacation you took, something you want to experience yet with him or her, write about what makes them so wonderful to you, you can write about all the things you want to give them or do for them in life, you can write about their beauty, the possibilities are endless. I find one of the main reasons people do not write more love letters is because they just don’t know where to begin. So pick a topic, that will help you figure out what to put on paper and remember there are no rules, you can say whatever is in your heart. 
A Photo Blanket
Many online and retail stores offer speciality items in their photography section. Simply do a google search of Personalized Photo Blanket to find sources. A blanket will keep your loved one warm all season long but also remind them of the special person who gifted it to them! The photo you choose for the blanket can be one of the two of you, your family, your loved one with their children or pet, or you can make a custom collage of things special to that person. Maybe they love a special orchard you had your first picnic at or maybe they love super heros, you could put a picture of Captain America on it with a message that they are YOUR super hero! Be creative and consider your loved one and have something special made just for them! 
A Top 10 List of what you love about him or her! 
There is nothing sweeter than reminding your loved one what it is you love about them! In my business clients ask this question so often “what does he / she love about me?” We humans need to know what makes our loved one’s heart melt! We want to know what traits we have that make them care for us because we not only need that ego boost but even more so because we want to continue those characteristics on for them! Let your loved one know what you love most about them for the holidays! 
Love Coupon Book
Sure, you can purchase one but they are usually so corny or have things in them we would either never do or do not have things in them we wish they did! Get crafty this holiday season! You can do it on the computer or by hand and if you are not artistically talented don’t worry about that. I gave one to my husband once that looked like a 5 year old created it as I am far from crafty but it is not the look that matters, rather what you put into it! Your loved one will be thrilled to get a custom made coupon book just for them made just by you! Some ideas you can incorporate, include:
Massage, Breakfast in Bed, For the men, ladies, you can wash his car for him in your bikini, For the ladies, men, you can draw her a bubble bath and warm her favorite pajamas for her in the dryer and lay them out for her, a warm towel is an extra little goodie, Offer to do house chores that are not normally your responsibility, A romantic candle lit dinner for two at home, Offer to watch a chick flick or man show with your loved one, Sexual favors are always a plus in these coupon books too! Again use your imagination, show your loved one that you know what they want most by giving them coupons for it! 
Boudoir Photos! 
This one speaks for itself and men, don’t think that this is just something the ladies do for you! Men can also get very seductive photos taken of themselves for the woman in their life! Men can dress up for their lady in a fireman’s outfit, as an officer, whatever your woman desires, or go natural standing by your car, motorcycle, or with your baseball bat, any woman who loves you will love this gift! Ladies, we know what men like, and don’t be shy about flaunting what you got! You too can play dress up in a naughty milk maid outfit, as a nurse, or you can go natural as well. Sexy photos need not be slutty or overly provocative, and can be done with great taste! Make sure you check out the photographer before setting your appointment of course! 
What are some of your romantic gift ideas? Feel free to leave comments below to inspire others and show us your great ideas! 


Friday, November 4, 2011

The Art of Venting ... It's a Process!

As a spiritual advisor often people think I sit around in a pile of rose petals chanting and offering words of love and wisdom. Oh how I wish. Everyone, even the “spiritually enlightened” have the need to vent and spew their negative thoughts. To do is cleansing and releases the toxicity from our energy. Sure no one likes to be on the other end of the verbal out-lash but as long as our venting is done in a manner which is not harmful toward others it can be “okay”. 
Pent up frustrations, hurt, anger, and resentments can do no good for you or anyone. Festering issues build up creating scars on your soul, welts on our egos, and blisters on our hearts. 
When we do not release these inner most negative emotions they are stuck inside of us and they burrow in deeper and deeper. When this happens we find our walls growing ever more tall, our shells hardening, and our emotions cut off from those around us - especially those we need and deserve us most. 
Often times we go into grid lock, refusing to share our darker thoughts and feelings with others. We do not want to trouble them, we do not want to burden them, or we worry we will be viewed as a negative person, clingy, needy, insecure. Sometimes we find we have complained far too much in the past, or that people have shut down to us due to their own conflicts, or they have become tired of hearing us out. 
There is a difference between venting and being a victim. If you find people have shut down on you it is possible you are not venting but you are being a victim. 
A victim complains and does nothing to change their circumstances. Venting is done to release negative emotion and then one moves forward feeling a sense of relief and new found purpose. 
A victim often has the same issues that reappear over and over or never go away and are a constant fixture in their lives. Venting happens quickly and swiftly then the person picks themselves up and says “Okay so now this is my new plan”. 
First we must identify which person we are and make no mistake most of us have played both roles at some point in our lives! We are all capable of being a victim and are all capable of being the venter. Some of us just tend to play the victim more often and this is honestly irritating to people who try to help empower and do not want to sit around in even their own drama, let alone another’s. 
Note the warning signs. What happens to you mentally, emotionally, physically, when you are on the ledge ready to jump into a vent? Clenched teeth, tightened jaw, reduced or increased appetite, depression, anxiety, anger, raw nerves, scowl, sweating, narrowed or widened eyes, lethargy or increase energy, itchy skin, really there are so many signs and they are different for everyone but try, next time you are nearing that slippery slope to identify your own warning signals. 
One you decide if you are being a victim or simply venting ask yourself how to best use your venting process to optimize your forward movement. 
Determine the proper way to release the toxic energy within you. Some of us are vocal, while some of us prefer to write it all out, some of us do both, while others need to get out and do something physical. Determine your venting M.O. 
Do you need to call your best friend? Ask yourself if you have taxed this person already and if so you may be leaning more toward being a victim than a venter. Have you made any changes to yourself or in your own life since your last ranting or venting session with this person? Maybe its time to start a journal so you can look at your feelings from page to page, day by day or week by week to see if you are getting stuck in your issues or if you are truly working through them. Repeating issues tend to draw us over the line from venters to victims. It is far easier to see repeating patterns in a journal or blog than in the verbal format and much easier to continue the patterns if we have no resource and only the frustration of the friend we find ourselves continuously reaching out for. 
Make sure that your release of pent up frustrations and negativity is healthy. Over eating, drinking, gambling, gaming, or anything done in excess, even physical activity, sex included, can become an addiction and in that an unhealthy pattern. 
Once you are able to determine your patterns for releasing negative energy you can figure out if you are doing so in a healthy manner or not and this is where you can make positive changes. Try to find a balance in how you are venting, and be sure you are making progress away from the people, places, situations, and things that are causing you to feel the need to vent so often. 
Switch it up. It is best to use various methods of venting. If your M.O. is to call your friends, try blogging or journaling for a change. Blogging is a wonderful way to release pent up energy because your friends can subscribe to your blog and give their support when and if they want to. They should feel less pressure to lend a hand or sympathetic ear because they choose to visit your blog and leave comments or not. If your M.O. is to shut yourself up in your home alone watching reruns of That 70’s Show eating massive amounts of carmel popcorn then maybe this time get out of the house and take a walk in the park! Nature and being around youthful, hopeful energy can really be a positive healing source! Find a pond and go skip some stones or just barrel them right into the water! There are a million ways to release negativity from pounding a pillow to making chaotic messy art on a canvas! Try anything new and stop the patterns because patterns become habits and habits become addictions. 
Establish an order. Once you have identified your warning signs, and found many positive ways that work for you to release your negative energies, it is time to establish a healthy order of venting. 
Make a list of your top ten to top twenty healthiest and productive venting methods that you have discovered. List them from the easiest for you to access to most difficult. If you love to use your venting time by taking a walk around your favorite park but it is across town and difficult to get to then that would go lower on your list. You should still make efforts to use this item however easy access is necessary but on days when you really REALLY need that break away from it all before you simply explode - go to the bottom of your list as your best methods will usually be there! 
You may have noticed that the methods used for venting are similar if not often the same as those for meditation or relaxation. Bingo! One does not need a negative outlet to get the negative emotions out! Sometimes the most enlightened activities can lead to the most exhilarating expression of release! 
Granted, nothing beats hashing your emotions out with a friend, especially one who is supportive, empathic, and has been through some similar situations. We just want to be careful not to use this as our go-to method of release because we find, over time, we tax those friends with our own emotions leaving them little time for their own. This is when we get categorized as the victim rather than the venter. 
Here is my list I have developed for myself:
  1. Listen to music.
  2. Write in my own private journal.
  3. Write a letter to the person or about the situation taxing my energy. (note: these “letters” are more for myself and not to be sent but a release only.)
  4. Take a walk at a trail near by.
  5. Go outside and throw knives. (I love this one, oh and I have a wooden target lol)
  6. Nap in the daytime with my pets.
  7. Watch some of my all time favorite movies.
  8. Escape into a book.
  9. Help someone else. (Sometimes being a support system to someone else allows us a reality check on our own dilemmas.) 
  10. Clean the house. 
Last step! Go back to the source! After you have had your venting time go back to the beginning and figure out where things went wrong. What brought about the animosity, exhaustion, angst, anger, etc. What caused you to hit that wall where a break down was ensuing? Look at it from a clearer perspective and make a plan of action on how to break away from it and clean up the much left in its wake! Did someone pull you into their drama, were you embarrassed, did you trust someone you should not have, did you do someone wrong, were you irresponsible, have you been running in circles in a one way relationship, what happened? You see its not always the other person or a situation that was placed upon you. Some of our drama is very much self inflicted. We need to identify what the stressors were in the first place. Then take responsibility for those we created, and for those we did not we need to face them in a positive manner. 
Address yourself, address those who harmed you. We cannot expect closure on a situation that goes ignored or worse off - keeps repeating with no change! Sometimes closure is elusive or non existent depending on who we seek it from but we need to be willing to gain that closure before asking for it. All too often I am told that someone has not found their closure on a relationship for example. This is probably the most difficult of closures to find because most people do not have an honest view on what closure is or what it should be. Really when someone is stuck without closure it often is because they do not want to see the reality of the situation before them. If we want closure from another person we need to ask them WHY and then accept whatever answer they give. It is only in the case of absolutely no answer being given that we can truly and honestly say closure was not obtained. Just because we do not like the answer does not mean the other person did not offer you closure. This is one example of course. 
In this last step of the venting PROCESS, to come full circle we must face down our demons. That means dealing with the issue and making change! If it involves another person then set up a time to speak to that person directly IN person if possible. I realize we have friends and loved ones spread far and wide and an in person chat is not always possible and sometimes the other person will refuse to communicate with us. In those cases a letter is better than texting. Emails are better than texting. Nothing is more annoying than having a “serious” conversation with someone via text. Thoughts are not fluid and clear and there is too much room for misinterpretation and its just so NOT personal. If a topic is important one should take the time to clearly lay their thoughts out in an email at the very least but in person is always key so that you and the other person can see facial expressions, body language, hear vocal inflections and all things that make our communication meaningful. And in the best of circumstances end the communication with a friendly handshake or a wonderful embrace - whatever the outcome. We need not be enemies even if we no longer are to remain friends or lovers! Not all stress in our lives is about people or romance obviously. So whatever has caused you to get into the place of needing to vent, focus on it with clarity and find the resolution. There is always some form of resolution even though you can’t change others you can change the way you deal with others and the way you walk through your day to day life. 
With Love and Empowerment,


Psychic Help for Your Love Life Feature

Thank you to Dating Web Sites for featuring my blog in your list of Psychic Blogs in your recent article Psychic Help for Your Love Life. I appreciate the honor of being selected from all of the wonderful blogs on the Internet!
I feel especially honored since I have been so severely lacking in blogging for some time.
It feels good to know that my articles have been of help to others and continue to do so.
It is also nice to know what type of articles seem to be reaching people. Since my blog is such a varied mix of spiritual, romance, dating, relationships, empowerment, herbs, magic, etc and so on LOL it feels good to know that even though scattered amongst many different topics there is something for everyone here.
I hope to continue to reach those who can use a little extra assistance!