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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Facebook - Destroyer of Relationships?

First let me take a moment to do a little lol. 
Okay done ...
Now seriously people ... this is my chance to do a little rant and try to perhaps help some of you who are taking the facebook thing a little too far, some too seriously and some way out of the ballpark! 
Now, if you are under the age of, oh, lets say 20 ... don’t even bother reading this. 
You have a right to be immature, have fun,  be obsessive, jealous, and a little erratic. Although I do not recommend any of those later behaviors as it could set you up for a really difficult adult life! Which brings me to some of the rest of you ...
If you are over the age of 20 and are obsessing over someone’s Facebook please read this article! 
Rule of Thumb: if you find yourself interested in someone of either gender who is using Facebook as their primary source for meeting people to date, flirt with, romance, etc., chances are you should NOT be pursuing this person! 
Rule of Thumb: If you find yourself obsessing over their status, and interactions with others on a daily basis, you need to delete your account and get out of the house. 
Now I am not talking about married couples or people who are dating in real life. If your lover is speaking to oodles of people of the opposite gender in a flirtatious manner it’s time to pull them away form the computer and have an in person real life talk with them! 
It may be time to kick him or her to the curb! 
However, for those of you who are not dating the person you are cyber stalking, its time to take a look at self! 
He or she may have said things to you that you took to heart. They may have suggested an in person meeting to get to know each other, or worse you may already be having cyber sex with this person, have told them all your deep dark fantasies and secrets and be planning your wedding. STOP THERE. If you have not developed an in person face to face relationship that is on the level with someone, anything and everything you have heard or been told online is just a story - until it is validated THROUGH ACTION! 
You see we have the Internet and even I personally met my own spouse online but no one ever handed us a manual on how to do this whole online virtual world dating thing.
It takes some thick skin, a wise mental perspective, some caution without paranoia, some self respect, dignity and a non obsessive mentality! 
Facebook and other networking sites are predator playgrounds but a lot of people are very sincere as well. You have to be willing to put yourself out there but you also have to have some balance and grounding of self first! 
Never go to online sites to scout a romance if you are still reeling over a past love. 
Never begin to talk sexually or romantically with a person you have not met IN person.
Always meet the first time in a public place that is busy and close to a police station. 
If they are secretive, will not give out full name, location, phone number, etc and so on RUN AWAY! 
Never talk to someone with a romantic interest if they are still with someone else, dating someone else, just getting over a relationship, MARRIED, etc. 
Watch for those who place the blame of the failure of a relationship ALL on their ex.
Also be aware of married men who say “We are more like roommates.”
“There is no intimacy” and things of this nature.
Truly there are a lot of ways to know when to run and when to give someone a shot, but it really all comes down to two things. 
Use Common Sense and Have Self Esteem! 
If you know you do not posses either - stay off social networking sites, work on yourself and then give it a go! 
This article may come off as harsh or judgmental but it truly is written to help so many people who have found themselves hurt time and again by trusting in people they really honestly feel they know. Fact is many people use Facebook and other sites like it as an ego boost, a way to prey on the vulnerable, and insecure and a method of cheating on their significant others. Facebook and sites like it allow a person to be whoever they WANT to be but really are not! Words are nothing more than words - the proof is in the pudding and that pudding is made with a heaping serving of ACTION!  
Remember that a lot of people love to role play and when you have that safety net of a computer screen between you and the other person you can really play it off as if you are super human, the victim, hurt by someone and trying to heal, a super model, etc and so on. Do not believe what you are told, take action and do some background checking of the person you are speaking with.
Be BOLD, ask their friends about them, and if all else fails get a formal background check done! If they are not willing to allow this to be done then move on and don’t look back! 
I wanted to give a bit of my opinion and view on this because I see a lot of things floating around about how Facebook is responsible for the break up of marriages, and things of that nature and I cry BS! It is not the fault of some computer program that you are being lied to nor that you are believing it! 
With EMPOWERMENT,
Azzrian 

allvoices

2 comments:

  1. This is amazing !!! enjoyed it! Thanks for taking the time to evaluate and blog this topic. Appreciate it.. many more clients to ya! Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you love! You are a real beauty and I hope business is going wonderful for you too! Love to ya
    Azz

    ReplyDelete

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Azzrian

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