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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Putting Energy into Perspective

Have you ever been told you carry a lot of negative energy around with you or that you are a negative person?
Maybe you have been told your are an upbeat and positive person.
Perhaps you heard both at different times of your life or maybe even in the same week! 
Why is it sometimes we feel on top of the world and yet other times we let the simplest things get to us?
Why is it some people view us as chipper and upbeat while others view us as whiney and complaining?
First of all we all carry both negative and positive around with us. There is a balance to all things of course we can easily get knocked off balance due to life situations, other people, circumstances, health, work, family, etc and so on. 
Energy is not just good or not just evil however some people sure can swing to one extreme side! 
Finding our triggers is key. For me when I begin to feel overwhelmed and have too many tasks at hand is a clear trigger. It is at these times I need to step away from everything and cleanse my energy so I can get back to balance. 
We all have certain things that trigger us to fall off track and lose balance in our energy.
Discovering what our personal triggers are can help us stay balanced. 
The ideal is to consider other people in this light. Everyone has good to offer and negative to offer and those times that you feel someone may be a negative person you really need to stop, step back, and take stock. Not knowing what is going on in their now can cause you to judge others as negative energies. Its really not fair and others do this to you as well. 
When you consider all the things you must balance in your day to day life it can be very easy to get off track and feel like lashing out at everyone around you.
Take for instance the person in line at the grocery store who is behind you huffing and puffing acting like you are in their way! It is possible this person has a sick loved one at home they need to get back to asap or they could simply be a real jerk lol. 
Take into consideration the former and instead of allowing them to fuel your anger, politely offer them the chance to move ahead of you in line. If they refuse and still act like an ass so be it, you offered, and you can move ahead with your day knowing you offered a positive gesture to them. Perhaps later when they get home and unwind they will reflect on your generosity and realize how they behaved. This could spur in them a change in their own energy of a more peaceful and considerate nature. Perhaps next time they are in line and someone is huffing and puffing behind them they will in turn offer the same thing you did. Its the pay it forward mentality. 
Maybe you are the one huffing and puffing. Perhaps you have had a very long difficult day and simply need to get home to more work, the yard, kids and homework, etc. 
Each and every one of us are capable of showing our “negative” side now and then. Some more often than others of course. 
One thing I know I dislike when I am in my negative space is when someone alludes to the fact or points out directly how much worse others have it. This makes me cringe because I think we all know there is great suffering in this world and our society has many downfalls. The fact however is when we are in that negative space those things do not feel as real to us because we are by nature very self absorbed people, like it or not, its the truth. When you are hurting, angry, in pain, over very real life situations you are in that negative space and to some degree need to be in it. It is OKAY to feel negative at times, and it is okay to feel down and out. We all deserve those times in our lives to be self focused and on the pity pot so to speak. This is only truly an issue if we remain there and do not do anything to over come our situations at hand. 
Some of us are suffering from financial problems, health problems, parenting issues, marriage struggles, career path blockages, car problems to name a few and some people are struggling with many of these problems at once. To compare one’s sufferings to another’s is not proactive at all. While it is kind to say “well just be happy you have a roof over your head” does little good to the person who just got served foreclosure papers! Saying “at least you have your health” to someone who’s child is suffering from a debilitating disease is of no value. 
Often times we toss out those generalized phrases because we know others do in fact have it far worse off or we simply do not have anything wise to say at all. Its a lot like those people who ask, “how are you today” then do not wait for your response. Worse those who ask then when you tell them the truth instead of the canned response of “Fine and how are you” they go blank as they truly did not expect to hear anything but “fine and yourself?” 
When you are in your negative space you are far less likely to judge others who are in their negative space and so you will find it is common that negative feeds on and attracts negative! Ever over hear two people sitting in a diner or somewhere gossiping relentlessly about people they know? Or complaining non-stop about their lives? Negative attracts negative because we need someone who will understand us and give us sympathy. Positive attracts positive in the same way. No one who is in a really great mood wants to be hanging around with someone who is miserable and vice versa! 
This is the nature of energy and how it works but it is also how we can get stuck in negative mode! Getting stuck in positive mode is not a bad thing at all as long as you do not become one of those annoying people who tell negative space people “it could be much worse”. 
We all must learn to show empathy toward others and be on alert for those who can keep us in a negative space and those who do not want us in their positive space! 
If you are in a negative space take time away from those who are not. It is not fair to bring them down but at the same time you do not want to keep going back to the same negative people who will only enable you to stay there! 
Take a few days off to self to sit on your pity pot and be upset, angry, mad at the world then get off of it and make the conscious effort that you are going to tackle your obstacles! 
Then you have made the transition from negative space to balanced space which truly is a good place to be! From there you can take care of business, tackle obstacles and in time move into your positive space again! 
For those of you who are dealing with people in their negative space it can become tiring and daunting especially when you have your own daily struggles you are dealing with. Show empathy, do not toss out canned remarks. It is better to say “I wish I could say something to help but I got nothing” than to give some canned remark. Also remember it is not your job nor duty to help them and usually they just need to vent a little but set your boundaries on how much time you will dedicate to allowing then to use you as their sounding board! 
One cannot respect your boundaries if you have none established! And try to remember you may hit your own negative space sooner or later and need them as your sounding board! 
Don’t judge! If you learn nothing else from this article I want you to learn this. Putting judgement on others can really backfire on you! I have so often heard “so and so is SO negative!” I find it a little humorous because even in saying so projects a negative energy from the person saying it! 
So the key factors to having perspective on energy are:
We all have both negative and positive energy.
Find your triggers.
Transition Points: Negative, Pity Pot, Cleanse, Balance, Transition to Positive Energy.
Empathy for others.
Set Boundaries. 
Negative Energy Attracts Negative Energy.
Positive Energy Attracts Positive Energy.
Don’t Judge.
Do not offer canned remarks.
Pay it forward.
With Love,


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