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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Are You Just Trying to Help Him or Her Make Excuses?

Ask yourself, “When I get a reading am I only really hoping to find excuses for him or her?”
The challenge in getting a helpful reading is to ask the right questions.
Your psychic advisor may be able to tell you what he or she really thinks and feels but if they are not capable of expressing that to you personally does it truly matter?
We all struggle with our individual blockages. Perhaps they are still reeling from a past relationship, perhaps they are afraid you will reject them, maybe they are worried they are not at a place in their life they can give 100% to focus on a commitment. While all of this may be very true and “reasons” why they are not showing you their feelings, while they may have real positive thoughts of you and intentions of trying with you one day, all you really can go on is what they are acting on NOW. 
Your advisor can help you make sense of mixed signals and non-actions on their part but it is not healthy for you to take this as a saving grace to keep trying with another person who is not capable of giving toward the relationship. 
Yes, your advisor can offer timelines and predictions that may indicate an idea as to their path, where they are on it and potentially when they may come forward and begin to give toward the relationship or show emotions etc but again you have to ask yourself to depart from the emotional and look toward the logic. 
When we are attracted toward someone, or more-so when in love with someone, we really want them to love us back or show that same level of interest in us and all too often we get those mixed signals. The push and pull, the one step forward two steps back thing going on which confuses us and causes us to seek guidance. 
Often times in a reading I can see that the other person does have attraction and a true interest in the client, however once that is stated everything else seems to get caught up in a slew of oblivion and the meaningful messages are not heard. It is in our hopes that if the mutual attraction or love is there that this means it will surely come out in time, if we are just a little more patient or we do the right things or do not do the wrong things.
This is human nature, our desires and what we hope to have manifest. However that outcome is not always going to be the case even if there is a deep passion, desire, attraction, etc. 
When a person is truly ready for a relationship and truly equally attracted it is more likely than not they will show it. Chasing rainbows for that perfect outcome is very damaging to you as a person and will in time only beat you down and cause you to feel disenchanted with self which causes esteem issues in the long run. 
When you ask your advisor “Is he / she attracted to me” or anything of that sort, be ready to hear not just the direct answer to that question but also the underlying messages the advisor has to offer. 
A simple yes or no can be what makes your day or breaks it but often the answer is yes ... but .... and it is the buts you need to take heed of.
From there it is up to you and your advisor to determine if this is a dead end path or if there is a VALID ray of hope. Valid would be that this person is in fact working on their blockages, issues, situations, problems etc that would lead toward a positive outcome for yourself and that other person, however if you are told that this is not going to be an easy path, you will end up banging your head against a wall, that this person is not in the process of their own personal progress or other red flags please consider this as a dead end street. 
I cannot express how many times I have told someone that the other person does have feelings for them BUT ... and given them every reason NOT to continue with trying to make a relationship with that person. Regardless our human need for validation, acceptance, requited love, leads them to continue to ask “But what if I this or what if I that or is it possible they will this or that ....” you get the picture right? We continue to beat the dead horse hoping for some small morsel of hope when really that horse will never see the finish line! 
Sometimes, as an advisor this makes me ponder if I should simply not say “yes he/she does have feelings for you” and just lead with the reasons why NOT to proceed with that person. I cannot lie to a client and tell them straight out the door that this person has absolutely no feeling for them when I see that they do, however it is also my duty as an advisor to show the multitude of reasons why even though they do have feelings toward them it is still a dead end street. 
A person absolutely can have feelings for you, even love you but that still does not mean they have walked their own path, worked out their own issues, found their own success, whatever it is they are needing in their personal life to be what you need them to be for you. 
Talking to your advisor about these things can in fact help, it can help you understand if it is an outright personal rejection or if it is really not you but them. In many cases it is them and not about you personally and yes sometimes the person we desire simply does not desire us! Most of the time however when clients do not want to hear the red flags it is because there are mixed signals coming at them, the other person IS attracted to them but not making forward movements. That is what this article is for, to show you, the client, that even though everything may seem to be going somewhere, sometimes you can be spared far more pain than you may already be in by taking heed to the underlying warning signals that your advisor can show you. 
Let’s face it - we as people can make enough excuses for ourselves, let’s not “help” people by making excuses for them! That’s an enabling stand point to take and in a relationship can lead to a devastating out come for all.
We are hopeful people, we want to see the good in others and we want to think that we can change things, change another person, their perspective thus change the outcome with them but once we understand the only path we can change is our own we can be empowered to make right choices for self that will in fact lead to happy endings and new  beginnings! 
With love, 


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