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Saturday, September 18, 2010

Spiritual Sexuality - Body Language

Have you ever been in a situation where you are attracted to someone and think you are giving off all the right signals?
Perhaps you are too shy to say how you feel, or the timing is wrong. Perhaps you are in a group setting and it simply is not appropriate to tell this person you would like to get to know them better. Maybe they are telling you they like you and everything you are saying is positive yet you do not hear from them again. 
What could your body be saying that your heart and mouth is not?
It is important to pay close attention to how we act and react in social settings. Not just in love and romance but also in work, friendships and your day to day life.
The way you hold and carry yourself can be very telling to how you feel and you may be sending off signals that you are not actually interested.
People can often misread subtle signs that you may or may not intend to be sending! 
These signs are also good to learn so you can determine if someone is truly interested in you as well! 
Here are a few things to begin to notice as you are in these social situations:
Folded Arms: When you fold your arms you could be sending off the signal that you have something to hide or that you are not comfortable in the given situation. Folded arms sends the message to the others around you that you are closed off, disinterested or even combative. Sometimes we fold our arms to protect ourselves or cradle ourselves if we are uneasy for a multitude of reasons and sometimes it is simply a habit or comfortable. If you are an arm folder take notice and try to correct this posture routine if you want to appear more open to others.

Fake smiling: When a person truly smiles the corners of their eyes crinkle up and you glow. It is easy to spot someone who is forcing a smile and perhaps if you are one to do this you do so because you truly do want to show interest but perhaps you are just not on your best that day. Maybe personal issues are weighing you down and you do not feel like smiling even though the person you are with does incite your interest. If you do not feel like smiling, don’t. Be genuine and do not force happiness that is not there. It does not take psychic ability for someone to be aware you are forcing that smile! This can cause them to pull back thinking you lack true interest and give them a poor opinion of you.
Raised Eyebrows: Eyebrows become raised when surprised however they are also a sign of physical attraction. This may be a hard thing to catch as it happens in a mere nano second. If you catch yourself raising your eyebrows or someone raising them when you approach you can consider them either surprised to see you, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, or they are attracted to you. Do not read too much into this until you asses the situation, perhaps if this is someone from college or high school they are simply surprised to see you after so many years however if you notice them doing this more than a couple times you could have an admirer! 
Preening: Notice if you or the other person are running their hand through their hair, stroking their neck, straightening their tie or skirt out. When someone is attracted they will try to give their best appearance and an instinct is to try to correct what they feel may be lacking. 

Nervous Behavior: Notice if the other person is doing things with objects around them such as if you are sitting at a dinner table on a date is your date playing with his or her silverware, their napkin etc?
If so they may be hiding something! When people fiddle it can be considered a nervous habit and that they are trying to deflect or distract themselves from the communication. They may have other things on their mind! This is a sign of disinterest or even a sign of a liar! Now give a fair chance to this person, after all we all have bad days and other things on our mind but if you are knee deep in a conversation about your relationship and this other person is fiddling - chances are they are not as into the relationship as you are! 
Touching: If you are talking to someone and they reach out and touch you they are interested! It could be a slight touch of your hand - just a brush, or a gentle and playful slap on the shoulder. Touch is a signal that they want to be closer to you physically. If you reach out to touch someone and they pull back that is a very good sign they are not that into you or have their walls up. Now we all have our bubble and need for personal space but you will be amazed how even the most guarded person can allow that bubble to burst away when they are truly interested! 

Dilated eyes: When we are attracted to someone our eyes dilate. This is an uncontrollable and natural occurrence. If you notice the person you are with having dilating eyes that is a sure sign of physical attraction. Now bear in mind we can be physically attracted to someone but that does not mean they want to be with us in a long term romance. Its just a sign until you get to know them. 
There are many physical ways in which you can spot someone who has an interest in you or an aversion to you. No one sign is enough to determine if you have a possible romance on your hands or not so take each of these with a grain of salt but do consider them collectively. 
With love


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