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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Taming the Butterflies


Oh that new feeling ... the tummy flutters, the palms are sweaty, heart races, constantly checking email. Its the tale tale signs of a new relationship! But how do we keep our wits about us and know for sure that its really a love connection and not just the excitement of the possibility of falling in love? All too often we have waited for so long for someone who can make our hearts beat faster that we may overlook obvious signs that this is not going to be healthy! Or we rush head first into the destruction of what could have been a great relationship by moving too fast! 








It’s all about keeping things in perspective! 



Know yourself, admit to yourself if you fall easily. No one else needs to know but YOU sure do! If you know you tend to fall easily then remind yourself of this. If on the other hand you are finicky and you finally met someone who makes you swoon that is even MORE of a reason to be careful! Just know how you are and who you are and that is a great baseline to begin with.



Remember those cute quirky things he or she does in the beginning can easily become the bane of your existence with them later on! Give yourself time to really decide if these personality quirks are cute or annoying! 



Remember a person always puts their best foot forward in dating! Not many people will tell you every fault they have on the first date or even in the first few weeks of dating! A person’s true character comes out over time!  When is the last time a person you were dating said to you in the first few dates: “Yeah I have a hard time keeping a job because I always spout off at my boss, my parents hate every person I ever dated, I get very abusive when I have more than two drinks, I’m always going to look at the opposite sex in front of you and I hate all living creatures!” LOL okay maybe that was excessive I know BUT you get the idea right? I understand that when a person is TRULY in love many things that otherwise would totally drive you insane are not SO bad or even tolerable and you know what relationships are ALWAYS going to be difficult in some areas and finding someone you can TOLERATE for a life time is a great thing lol not to sound bleak but its true! No matter how perfect two people are together there will always be those small things that annoy each other. So be it but when truly in love the little things just do not matter so much. Take TIME to get to really know a person before you fall for the chemistry! 



Chemistry: Oh yes there is that! Sometimes you just meet someone and you feel that BANG BAM BOOM! That is sexual energy people its NOT love! It is very easy to mistake for love though and the whole love at first sight thing - in the TRUE sense - VERY rare! 



ENJOY THE RIDE! All too often I see people SO rushed to the alter or at least the commitment they forget that the real honeymoon phase is in the dating and wooing process! Take your time, slow down, remind yourself that once you ARE committed it becomes work and not so much play! Sure some of us want to have kids and be married and have a family life but with all that comes responsibility, commitments to others outside of you two, car loans, combined debts, mortgages, you name it! The ROMANCE is in the wooing and dating and feeling of what’s next! Take time for just you two, find your core as a couple, heck find out if you HAVE a core as a couple or if you are just two people with great chemistry and sexual attraction that happen to be on two totally different wavelengths! 



The most common mistake I see with the butterfly effect is when someone feels they are in love and they honestly really do not even KNOW the person! All too often someone will say “I am soooo in love with him / her” yet they can not tell me their middle name, their date of birth, and do not even know their basic character traits to validate I am connected to this person’s energy in a reading! When that happens it is clear to me that they are feeling the butterflies but NOT truly in LOVE but far be it from me to be able to tell them that without them DEMANDING they DO know this person, they FEEL this person’s energy etc. Okay granted we have soul mates yes, and soul mates can connect on an energy level alone which is extremely powerful and overwhelming BUT we have so many soul mates in this world and it is FACT that not all soul mates are MEANT to be together and more often than not our soul mates are not healthy for us and only here to help us learn life lessons! With that said I am not trying to be offensive when I down play the energy connection because I know very well it does exist as this is my area of speciality BUT we have to be realistic here, we live in the human world and it is difficult to transverse the spiritual connection in the human form and takes much time, energy, effort and mostly pain to do so. That energy connection has to be dealt with in a human manner. We have to be logical and reasonable that just because we feel the spiritual energy connection (not to be confused with simple chemistry by the way) does not mean it is going to be best for us to act on it before getting to know this soul mate! It is VERY possible that we may not even LIKE our soul mates! Yup its true! 



Relish in the feeling! The butterfly feeling is a wonderful thing and yet at times it can be fleeting for many reasons. We may face rejection, or we may discover we actually are not that connected to this person, or they may be a total jerk or diva lol and that may not be what we really want! But while the feeling lasts ENJOY it! Don’t worry about how far things will go, where it is going, when they will call, if you should call them. Just go with the flow and enjoy yourself but keep a healthy dose of reality on the side at all times! Now I don’t want to confuse reality with being negative or having a glass is half full mentality! You can be positive, optimistic and hopeful but just remind yourself that butterflies happen and sometimes they decide to land gently on your shoulder and stay awhile and other times they can be impossible to even catch! 



Butterflies are the beauty of nature and should be admired but respected! They are delicate and have a short life span! Its not the butterflies that really matter but the but the down and dirty, gritty stuff that does! Knowing a person at their core level, knowing their deepest darkest secrets, being able to say you love truly love this person for all their faults and quirks. Taking time to know a person and really having a clear perspective on what it is you are feeling to begin with. If new love is to be compared to the butterfly then long lasting enduring love could be compared to some pretty nasty little insects that I don’t even want to mention but you know what - those insects will be here long after human existence ends   and in a true LOVE relationship it is what matters! 

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Azzrian

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