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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

5 Most Important Compatibility Questions

While I feel it is very important to know what your potential mate feels about certain things, such as, family, career, money, faith and children there are some other things we may often overlook that are at the core of what makes two people click. The above topics have a huge value and should be discussed before going toward a commitment but how do you know if you are even compatible before getting to the point of discussing those things?

Here is a simple list of what I have found to be the most frequent issues for couples when doing readings:

1. Amount of time each person wants to spend together and apart. We all have our need for space, but some of us need this a lot more than others! Some people feel abandoned if not given enough personal time with their loved one. Talk about how much time your mate wants to spend together and apart.

2. Friends – often it is our friends or the friends of our mate that come between us. We need to know where we stand. Do their friends come first or do we? No one wants to feel they are at the bottom of their loved ones list. Talk about their friends, and yours, and if there is someone very special to each of you that you would drop everything for at a moments notice, let your loved one know and ask them to do the same.

3. Convenience – Whether you are in a long distance relationship or not travel and time to go see the other person often comes up! Discuss with your mate how often you wish for them to take the time to come to see you and how often you will go to see them. Do not let distance no matter how insignificant become an issue. It may not be travel but work could be the problem as to why one of you needs them to be more prepared to meet with you at your convenience.

4. When will he or she call? This is a huge question that comes up time and again in readings. If communication is not good then there is little else you can do but wonder and that is never fun. Establish with your mate how often you wish to hear from them and how often they want to talk to you. Again looking at #1 above this is a personal space issue but it is a separate problem because even if you can not personally be with them there is the desire to talk to them on the phone, text, email etc. Some people just do not like to text, some are not good at replying to email. Discuss this honestly with your mate to be sure you are on the same wavelength or at least understand where they are coming from.

5. Are they seeing someone else? No matter how afraid you may be that they are with someone else – remember if there is no commitment of being a couple then you both have a right to do so. Until you discuss this with them then you have no foundation to base your fears on. A lot of people worry they are going to push someone away or loose their mate by asking this question but the fact is knowing is better than finding out the hard way! Just ask them if they are dating others and if that is not okay with you let them know you would like to be the only one. If they do not wish the same then you are better off knowing.

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