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Monday, October 12, 2009

Maintaining Balance in a Topsy Turvy World

It is a common misconception that to live a balanced life we have to continuously maintain balance. Oh my, if that were the case I would totally fail the balance sector of my life! LOL

Balance is not something we have or do not have. It is something we strive for and constantly readjust our energy in order to maintain on an on going basis.

We have to set boundaries, we have to re-adjust, we have to keep tipping the scale back to keep our equilibrium.

We all know someone who seems to have it all together, and we wonder “how do they manage to stay so balanced while keeping so many balls up in the air?” Don’t be fooled! It is not any easier for them to do this than it would be for you, but they have figured out a few key points along the way to make the best of their own busy and complex life! 

There are two main properties to living a balanced life. On one side we have the emotional and on the other we have the logical. Emotional deals with wants and desires, where logical deals with responsibility and duty.
We have to place the right items on the right side to start. Yes some of these things will cross sector such as family, family can be equally emotional because we want to spend quality time with our family but at the same time we have duty and responsibility, getting the kids to school, doctors appointments etc. This is where a nice handy diagram comes in to play.
Draw a simple diagram of a scale large enough to take notes on. A poster board will be handy for this and use some colorful sharpies just to make it a bit more fun!
One one side label Emotional and the other of course Logic.
Begin to draft your scale. Write down what you need on your logic side, work, family, bills, housework etc. And on your emotional side list what you need, free time, exercise, family time, friends, etc. It’s your list there is no right or wrong!
Now when items cross sector make some extra notes on this. If your cross sectoring item is family be sure you note in what ways your family is a emotional balance and in what way they are a logical balance. This will come in handy when we are trying to stay on track!
Sometimes we can easily become distracted or confused about how to get balance when we are being hit from all directions. It is hard to have boundaries when we are not even sure of our own scale and what is tipping it! By looking at your own hand made diagram you can easily reflect on where your boundaries are being crossed and when you are ignoring your own boundaries you set for yourself!
Some of us are really good at the logical boundaries and we know exactly what comes first while others of us are better at the emotional side of things but either can become a hazard if we are not careful. For instance some people can easily get distracted by a friend in need, putting aside our own needs and missing important deadlines or allowing for someone to take too much of us emotionally without giving back. While others of us put so much demand on ourselves to earn a nice living that we get off balance on the emotional side and do not give enough time to ourselves for spiritual growth, family time or relaxation. Neither is better or worse than the other side – what is best is a nice balance and with our chart we can always get back to our center!
Boundaries are a key element to a healthy balanced life! Setting boundaries for ourselves and for others is not being selfish nor being self involved. It is necessary in order to maintain our equilibrium! We can not allow for others to literally push us off balance we must be firm but kind when we are being push too hard or too far. By setting boundaries we can always know we are being fair.
When we allow for someone to push us in our balance of logic we tend to become reclusive and withdrawn and our focus is taken away from our work and thus our income and our lifestyles which can hurt our families and make us struggle too hard to be able to then find our emotional balance, when we lose our emotional balance we can become drained and even bitter or resentful.
It is one thing to want to help a friend in need but when they are pushing us too far we no longer have empathy for them and pull away from them. Some of us just tend to go this way more than others and our balance is almost too empathic or too kind for our own good. Some of us immerse ourselves in work trying to give our families a better life or earn enough to retire earlier or make enough for that long awaited vacation but in the mean time we lose connections we need to be happy as well. We lose our path and ourselves.
Using your chart you can always look at it and consider where you have been pushed as well as where you let yourself go, where you failed with your own boundaries and where you have been placing too much of your time and energy.
As you use the chart more and more you will notice it is becoming a part of you, a second nature, and you will no longer need this visual. When this time comes you will also notice that balance is becoming easier and easier to maintain!



  1. I love what you said about balance being something we are constantly having to adjust to maintain our equilibrium. It's so true and reminds me that it's okay to keep re-adjusting. Very thought provoking piece :)

  2. Thanks Kara! Your doing a great job on your new blog as well! http://psychicsoulutionsbymskara.blogspot.com/
    Keep up the great work! Love your articles so far! Look forward to reading more!


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