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Saturday, September 26, 2009

But how does he FEEL about me?

Relationship Troubles
But how does he FEEL about me?

This is one of the most common questions a psychic reader is asked.
I am perfectly happy to answer this question but depending on the energy of the client and if they are truly open to working on their path and not just getting the quick and to the point answers, I like to offer the following:

I can tell you all day long how someone FEELS about you but feelings are only as good as the actions that stand behind the feeling.

Someone actually can love you with all that they have, but if they are not willing or able for whatever myriad of reasons to take the steps toward progression in the relationship, those feelings are not as meaningful.

It does not mean it is unimportant to ask or to know how someone feels in general or about you specifically, as sometimes these feelings can be worked with to find a comfortable resolution for both parties. However when the entire focus of a reading is multiple paragraphs of telling the client how deeply someone cares for them when as a reader I see regardless of that, this person is stunted, fearful or blocking growth of the relationship, I have to step in and let the client know.

This is surprisingly not always met with agreement. Often times a client simply wants to just know that someone does in fact care for them and is not ready to face the fact that all the love and care in the world does not equal a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship.

Sometimes there is no true emotion from the other person and of course that is hard but necessary news to deliver.

There are basically two kinds of clients thus two kinds of readings, and often the same client can have the need for both kinds of readings at different times. There is the reading I call a progressive learning session. This is where the clients are truly interested in making the best path for themselves no matter what. They are ready and willing to hear the hard truth and the good news but they can take the good along with any bad, regardless of the pain it may cause at that time. They are ready to grow as an individual, understand the reasons behind the way the other person is acting or feeling, and are ready to take that into careful consideration and work on making their lives enriched and fulfilled, even if they have to leave a relationship behind.
Then we have the In the NOW session. This is a session where the client is in a place of simply wanting to know of there is still ANY feeling from the other person, if there is any chance at all. They do not want to hear life lessons, reasons, things they need to work on, or any thing other than the basics on how someone feels for them. While these are not my favorite kinds of readings they do serve a purpose in that moment. They are no less accurate of a reading, nor less truthful, but they will not help in the long-term outcome of the relationship or its growth. They also are not the best type of reading to offer predictions or timelines on because the client has accountability of their own for any outcome and when they only want the basics and do not care for the “lesson” there is a lack of certainty that the client will do the necessary work to see predictions through. Free will is stronger than any prediction and can overrule, help or destroy a prediction in a moment’s notice, so with clients who want this type of reading I simply do not give predictions. This type of reading is only a momentary bandage to give the client perhaps just enough to get through a rough spot in their lives, or to “hold on” although I never want this for someone and much prefer the client take the time to learn and grow both as an individual and in their relationship, I would not refuse this type of reading. More often than not with my work on Liveperson this is the type of reading I see being requested, although the client may not be aware that they are in fact requesting just that. What I will try to do, if my time permits, is email the client a little follow up and subtly suggest that we take time when they are ready to look deeper, not for the purpose of getting the client in another session to make more money, but for the purpose of helping them to really see the bigger picture. A lot of my follow up via email, no actually most of it is free. It is up to the client to really want to work on their path for the long term good, but I cannot force this on anyone.
I understand we are all human and we have those moments where we just need to hear something good or hear the hard truth so we can make a decision right then and there and move forward or move on but unfortunately without really examining the whole situation and finding our lessons in it we fail to accomplish the real goals in life which is to learn and to grow in each and every situation and relationship we face.
When you go to get your next reading, perhaps pause and ask yourself, what type of reading do I want? What do I want to achieve? Do I want the bandage or do I want to learn and grow?
Do not worry, either type of reading is fine and there is no judgment passed on you for wanting the bandage but letting your advisor know in advance the type of read you want will help them focus better for you and get to you the type of info you need at that time.
Now the “labels” I have put on these two types of readings are my own, and I do not assume any other reader would know of them so perhaps just tell your reader/advisor..
“I just want the basics today or some answers to these questions” or “I would really like an in-depth reading to find out what lessons I may be missing here” would do the trick.


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